12.29.2014

2014 in Pictures, Bullet Points, and Snark

Like any year, this one was marked by various highs and lows. But rather than wax poetic about it in paragraph form, I figured I would cater to the Buzzfeed generation by briefly summarizing each month of 2014 with relevant pictures, bullet-points, and whatever news headlines or viral sensations stood out that month -- most of which I gleaned from my Facebook feed. I guess Zuckerberg's soul-hole can be handy at times.

Ready?? Here goes!

January

It got THIS cold

And then it got hot

February

Most delicious show ever
ACHIEVEMENT EARNED
  • STRINGS has a great month via a BookBub promotion.
  • I briefly join the only other female author (V.C. Andrews) in the Top 20 horror authors on Amazon.
  • R.I.P. Philip Seymour Hoffman -- you are so incredibly missed.
  • I discover another TV obsession: HANNIBAL.
  • I leave Facebook for four weeks. Get lots of shit done.

March
The cupcakes are not a lie
Colt Coltrane takes a dive
Read this collection. Now.
  • My baby boy turns eleven and my mom makes him Portal cupcakes.
  • I sell my short story "John Dillinger and the Blind Magician" to Apex Magazine.
  • Acute bronchitis! Yay!
  • This amazing lip sync battle between Jimmy Fallon and Paul Rudd happens.
  • An airplane full of people just POOF disappears (and is still missing). Sigh.
  • I fall in love with COSMOS, hosted by Neil DeGrasse Tyson.
  • I write a new Colt Coltrane short story, "Colt Coltrane and the Harrowing Heights of Hollywoodland," based off a poster Justin Wasson created for the Gem City Comic Con.
  • I discover probably my favorite read of 2014 (though it was published well before that): 20th Century Ghosts by Joe Hill.
  • My story "Daddy's Glasses" is officially published in the WRAPPED IN WHITE anthology.

April
Does this really need an explanation?
My First Convention!
Visual storytelling is fun
  • Gem City Comic Con! My first convention, sharing a table with my good friend and Colt Coltrane illustrator Justin Wasson, is a huge success.
  • I have a table at Comic Book Studio Day at the Rosewod Arts Centre, which leads to the collaboration between Justin and me on the Free Comic Book Day comic, Colt Coltrane and the Case for Comic Books.
  • We all receive a wonderful reprieve from the horrendous winter weather. Until it snows again mid-month.
  • Gary Busey becomes the spokesperson for the Amazon Fire TV device and makes one of the greatest commercials of all time.

May
My daughter creeps me out.
Middle school, AHOY!
A new spot of sunshine. With claws.
  • We welcome a pretty little stray, Juno aka Ginger Beast II aka Princess Fluffy Butt, into our lives. She makes it even more awesome.
  • Natalie invents a creepy D-face meme.
  • I finish the first draft of my dark suspense novel KUDZU.
  • My baby boy graduates fifth grade.
  • R.I.P. Maya Angelou.
  • I discover the amazing FX mini-series sensation known as FARGO.
  • I get copies of STRINGS into a U.S. Army library out in California.
  • Success at two great shows, Free Comic Book Day at Maverick's Comics and Cards, and Jim and Dan's Toy & Comic Show with Justin Wasson.

June
The start of a beautiful new relationship
  • Queried several agents with KUDZU. Got an offer within three weeks. And not just any agent -- the agent of one of my literary heroines, Gillian Flynn! I think other things happened this month, but this is the only thing I can remember, and that's perfectly okay with me.

July
My husband decides to scare me to death
Absurdity.
The end of an era
  • CREATIVE COMMONERS, the podcast I hosted with Chris Armstrong and Corey Bishop, airs its final episode.
  • I release CONSUMPTION: A TRILOGY OF OBSESSION.
  • My long-running short story, "Dust," is re-released as a revised and expanded edition
  • Ken stands up and faints dead away. Terror and an ambulance ride ensues. But he ends up being totally okay.
  • Another Malaysian Airlines disaster happens, this time over Ukraine. :( 
  • A mysterious crater appears in Siberia.
  • Amazon unleashes Kindle Unlimited, and it has a voracious appetite for author earnings.
  • I start work on a new novel called A MARRIAGE OF CONVENIENCE.
  • Weird Al releases new album. It's awesome.
  • Potato salad sort of breaks Kickstarter.

August
I fall in love with another Doctor
Teenage wasteland
Cooler heads prevailed
  • My baby girl turns thirteen.
  • I celebrate 14 years of marriage to my wonderful husband.
  • Peter Capaldi and his attack eyebrows debut on Doctor Who
  • The ALS Ice Bucket challenge raises a ton of cash and even more cynicism.
  • My friend Scott Bachmann and I share a table at the Yellow Springs Book Fair, where the very first print copies of THE LAST SUPPER are sold.
  • I finally read the HUNGER GAMES trilogy. Not bad, not bad.
  • Guardians of the Galaxy, y'all!
  • R.I.P. Robin Williams. :*(
  • Elias begins his first year of middle school at the Dayton Regional STEM School.

September

Don't panic
The first LAST SUPPER illustration
Applefreude
  • Ken celebrates his 42nd birthday with a Hitchhiker's Guide print I commissioned from Justin Wasson.
  • The world of THE LAST SUPPER comes to life via illustrations.
  • iPhone 6 is bendy. Hilarious memes ensue.
  • U2 ruins everyone's lives with a free new album.
  • I complete work on a novella called "Nectar" for the GRIMM MISTRESSES anthology.
  • Scotland says it can't quit the U.K.
  • Borderlands Pre-Sequel. BECAUSE REASONS!
  • Jim Terr options my Consumption Trilogy for film.
  • R.I.P. Joan Rivers.

October
Mom and Daughter, taking over the world
MASS HYSTERIA
Happy Anniversary
  • Ebola madness reaches a fever pitch.
  • STRINGS celebrates one year, over 26,000 copies downloaded or sold, passes 100 reviews
  • I turn 35
  • The author collective, DeadPixel Publications, invites me to join, and I eagerly accept
  • The WRAPPED IN BLACK anthology is released, containing my story "Number One Angel"
  • I release a new short story, "Tumble."
  • Two more shows, the Champion City Comic Con and SuburbiCon happen on back-to-back weekends.
  • Natalie sells her first pieces of artwork at SuburbiCon.
  • The tradition of Frappe Friday, where the kids and I visit a local coffee shop every week, begins.
  • I corrupted local youths at a neighborhood high school.  Some of them appear to want to be writers. Sorry, parents.

November

They like me! They really like me!
This new version of a mythical plasma light sword wielded by telekinetic space monks is deemed "impractical."
  • THE LAST SUPPER receives a starred review in Publishers Weekly!
  • Teaser trailer for STAR WARS VII teases some people into a stupor.
  • Plot twist: Italian Thanksgiving, featuring osso bucco and risotto.
  • Reads REVIVAL by Stephen King. Loves it.
  • Trailer for THE LAST SUPPER is released.
  • 60% of America decides to sleep through and not vote on Election Day, gets the government it deserves.
  • Ernie from Sesame Street gets a colonoscopy.
  • Humans land on a COMET, y'all!
  • Meanwhile, Kim Kardashian allegedly breaks the internet. With her ass.
  • INTERSTELLAR winds up being every bit as awesome as I'd hoped it would be.
  • I begin on COLT COLTRANE AND THE STOLEN SKY.

December
Congratulations! It's a book!
Sony gets really stupid
A new family member
  • At long last, THE LAST SUPPER is released into the world!
  • Something about a massive Sony hack, North Korea, and a stupid movie that ultimately shouldn't have mattered, but did anyway, because the world is fucking insane.
  • Christmas is glorious. A brand new telescope. A PlayStation 4. A Doctor Who Christmas tree.
  • Kidney infection! Hooray!
  • I read BIRD BOX by Josh Malerman. Awesome book.
  • I play an Atari 2600 for the first time in thirty years. Just as good at it now as I was at age 5.
  • I accept an offer to teach a writing workshop in January for a local arts center.
  • Another disappeared airplane out of Asia. :( 
  • I get to play test an early version of a friend's new board game. Lots of great quality friend and family time to close out the year.
  • Stephen Colbert ends his long-running, much loved COLBERT REPORT to prep for his debut in David Letterman's stead on The Late Show. America mourns.
  • BONUS: It appears we may yet get out of this year relatively unscathed.
That just about wraps up this year's highlights. There were a lot of things I undoubtedly missed, but the year was long, and time stretches ever onward. 2015 is looking very promising. Apex will be publishing "John Dillinger and the Blind Magician" in January's issue. I'll be teaching that workshop. "Nectar" via GRIMM MISTRESSES should be out in February. COLT COLTRANE AND THE STOLEN SKY should be out by March. My agent intends to sell my book KUDZU in Q1, and I have two conventions planned in January and March, with more undoubtedly to follow. I also hope to see a STRINGS sequel enter the world, as well as a number of other works.

So if your seatbelt was already buckled, might as well keep it that way. The ride continues, and I anticipate a lot more fun bumps and curves ahead. TO 2015 AND BEYOND!

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