The Random Thoughts that Wanted to Be Blogs

1. I was gonna do a full blog on this, but feel I am ill-qualified to do so because of the fact that I haven't seen all of the contending movies/actors' work, but can I just say this one thing about the Oscar nominations? Fucking A, Daniel Day and Javier Bardem! I predict Best Actor/Supporting Actor statues for both of them respectively, and if this doesn't happen, I will be one petulant little biyotch in front of the TV that night. I'd also like to see Best Picture and Best Adapted Screenplay for No Country for Old Men and Best Director for Paul Thomas Anderson for There Will Be Blood, just to split the difference. I know it's not going to happen, though. This is the Coens' year, although if Jason Reitman wins it for the stellar Juno, I won't exactly be disappointed. Best Actress should be Ellen Page for Juno, and I have a feeling she will pull an upset here.

2. And now for something sorta related--what in the HELL is the music division of the Academy thinking excluding There Will Be Blood's phenomenal, unforgettable, strikingly unique, and haunting score from Oscar nomination?? I'm not lying when I say that Radiohead's Jonny Greenwood's composition is perhaps one of the most effective pieces of music ever made for a movie, and it is a great injustice that due to some minor technicality (like, say, a few bars weren't composed specificially for the picture) he won't get proper recognition for his genius here. I know I didn't mention it in my review, but seriously folks, you'll understand what I mean by this score when you hear it.

3. And now for something not at all related--I had a dream last night that I got a B in my math class, and I felt satisfied with that. Usually such dreams are nightmares for me. I'm not sure whether I should be frightened or comforted by this change in my outlook.

4. I had a bit of an epiphany the other night as I was laughing my ass off at reading with considerable gravitas the reports that Britney Spears had lapsed into speaking in a British accent. Some mental health experts were speculating that Britney was perhaps suffering from dissociative identity disorder, which angered me to no end. We've now got cranial midgets doing psychiatric diagnosis via videotape ala Bill Frist and Terri Schiavo on this debacle?? Why not take the simpler explanation: that speaking in a British accent is something that American celebrities do when they finally realize they have become irrelevant. See: Madonna.

5. It appears that Scotland is appealing to the United States to lift its ban on imported haggis, saying that there are no worries to be had about the nation's national dish being contaminated by Mad Cow Disease (after the scare in the U.K. awhile back). That may be so, Scotland, but perhaps you've forgotten the other reason we don't want your national dish infiltrating our borders: hearts, lungs, livers, and oatmeal cooked inside a sheep's stomach is fucking disgusting, okay? We'll happily take your whiskey, your bagpipes, and your hot men in kilts, but you can keep your vomit sausage. Thanks!


  1. Yay #4. I am only mildly embarrassed to admit that I occasionally read 'People', and I was really steamed after reading their recent article implying that Brit-neee may be bipolar. That's an insult to bipolar sufferers everywhere. I mean, come on! She's a selfish, spoiled brat with no coping skills. You know it's bad when K-Fed turns out to be the better parent...

  2. Ha...Thanks for providing me with a Bill Frist laugh. I miss his virtual diagnoses so much. I may send him some haggis. Cheers!!

  3. I've heard Britney's accent and I don't actually think it's British. I'm certain if crazy had an accent, that's what it would sound like.

  4. Poor Britney. So mis-understood. she should eat some haggis, that'll fix whatever ails her!


  5. re: #5

    Perhaps I should rethink the proposed All Haggis All The Time menu.