I kinda fucking rule.
Yeah, I might not look it. I'm the biggest dork I know, I have a tendency to trip over my own feet a lot (to which my friend Vickie, or rather, Vickie's hair can attest), and when it comes to actually speaking fluent English, I rest at a comfy 4th grade level. But I can definitely write at a 7th grade level, and to me that means something!
It's been another successful year orbiting in the blogosphere, I have to say, and while I'm seeing so many of these "Best Blog of 2007" contests floating about, I see no one basting themselves with the hot juices of self-congratulatory ego-stroking. Well, I'm going to be a pioneer in this, and I hope you will all join me in your covered wagons. I wrote a lot this year. Not quite as much as in 2006, however, because even a superficial fluff junkie like myself has to take a step back once in awhile and evaluate her lifestyle choices. Okay, nothing so reflective. I've simply grown lazy. But I have written enough to compile a little list of my own personal favorites just for you!
If you are relatively new to reading my
Let's get started, shall we?
I celebrate Martin Luther King day by urging everyone to laugh at black people.
Who can forget my concept for a new reality show entitled American Write-ol? I know I have re-posted this a couple times, but it still gets my vote. Of course that month I also got pretty controversial with my "banish all drug laws" rant, entitled Laws Suck.
Two words: Chocolate Jesus
Taking to race relations yet again, I throw up a big middle finger to Al Sharpton.
I invent a new holiday, and I call it: Irony Day.
This summer, I urged you all to embrace the word "Cunt."
Clearly, I was having a bad month.
In August, I congratulated the Duggar family of Arkansas (in a most sincere way) for birthing their 17th child.
I provide my readers with my 10-Step Guide to Immortality. I also share the harrowing tale of a very naughty monkey.
My first week of working for Target brought some very salient observations.
Between Target Mutants and Touchdown Jesus, November was a rather colorful month. But because of its purely educational shock factor, I think I'm going to have to go with Butt-Hash here.
Granted, there is still a couple weeks left, but I'm going to go ahead and call it. It was a close race between Christmas Todd and the Christmas Light Personality Test.
I think, however, Christmas Todd wins, based merely on the fact that I've never seen people get so worked up over a taco bar.
It was a great year, folks! I look forward to seeing what antics 2008 brings! We do have a Presidential race impending. I have a feeling it will be a political year. Brace yourselves.