11.19.2007

Holiday! Celebrate!

I only have a few days left to do this, after which it really won't matter what I say because the media talking heads will take over with their annual mental masturbations on what has happened to the Christmas holiday over recent years, and how it's been polluted and corrupted, etc etc.

I've got only one thing to say as the Christmas Cry Babies start opening their flapping yaps this Holiday (yes, that's right, I said HOLIDAY) Season:

Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Your holiday, Christmas, isn't going ANYWHERE! Oh yes, the occasional school will ban a Christmas tree (which is the kind of story that Fox News will skull fuck into oblivion) and sometimes a checkstand lackey, who only makes minimum wage to put up with your petulant bullshit, will say "Happy Holidays!" instead of "Merry Christmas!" as they hand you the receipt for your shopping cart full of goods for the altar of the Consumerism God we all worship this time of year, (which, by the way, takes away your right to complain about the disappearance of Christ from Christmas), but that doesn't mean that Christmas is going the way of the dinosaur, or into the den of relative obscruity that is Kwanzaa or Hanukkah.

In case you didn't notice, stores started bedecking their shelves and rafters with Jesus Birthday Party Favors in the form of garlands, tinsel, and Nintendo Wiis on November 1st, which is nothing short of a record. But of course some would complain that this is just a greedy impulse on the part of retailers to get a jump on the credit card holders. But have you noticed that stores aren't the only people following this trend. In my neighborhood, I've been seeing the twinkle of Christmas lights since the day after the witches and ghouls of Halloween wrapped up business for the year. Christmas, the holiday that so many are complaining is disappearing, seems to have come a full three weeks early this year!

So face it, folks, Christmas (not just generic Holidays) but CHRISTMAS is everywhere. I haven't seen Stars of David hanging around in Target, and those crazy African Americans aren't out to "Kwanzaafy" your celebrations with their pimp-looking clothes from what I've noticed either. And if all these festivities aren't holding to the "tradition" enough for you, stay home or go to church! That's where the "spirit" of Christmas is supposed to reside, anyway! Not Target, not JC Penny, not Best Buy. They shouldn't be put in the awkward position to glorify your holiday anymore than they already do with their shiny decorations and reduced prices.

Several weeks ago, I read that Washington's Governor Christine Gregoire declared the final week of October Christian Heritage Month. I suppose that the proceeding 8 weeks weren't going to be enough.

Yeah, you poor Christians... So oppressed.