5.02.2007

The Gouda Would Like to Proclaim This Day "Irony Day"

With Gouda's own blog at her disposal, she has realized that this means she has considerable power. In fact, she is mistress of her domain. Literally. Did you notice I have my own domain? My very own, personal domain? Hell yeah. I rule. But that's beside the point. Seeing as how this is my blog, and seeing as how I put the "Gouda" in Memoirs of a Gouda, I have decided to create my own holiday.

Now, this isn't going to be your typical holiday that falls on only one day of the year that you have to wait a whole year to celebrate again. Oh no. This is what I like to refer to as a floating holiday. And I'm going to call it: "Irony Day." Irony Day is to be celebrated on any day following an instance where our President or anyone else in a position of power says or does something indicative of brain-stunting stupidity. You might not realize this, but we've celebrated Irony Day roughly 290 days of every year that the Bush administration has been at the helm. I thought the festivities would die down when Secretary of Defense Donald ("You go to war with the army you have") Rumsfeld resigned, but who knew that Alberto ("I don't recall") Gonzales would carry on the tradition so beautifully? This, however, isn't about our venerable Attorney General.

On Wednesday, May 2nd, America celebrated Irony Day yet again. Why? Well, you might not have realized this because the press was busy on other pertinent matters undoubtedly involving Anna Nicole Smith's baby, but May 1st was officially proclaimed by our great, fearless leader as Loyalty Day. On Loyalty Day, we are to support our troops, give thanks to our forefathers who valued freedom above all else, and we are supposed to fly flags and stuff. This all sounds pretty commonsense, but apparently it means more if you designate a day of the year where such actions REALLY mean something! It's kind of like how you get to be a bitch the rest of the year if you are super nice to people on Christmas.

If we have flagging morale due to a war that isn't going our way, what better thing to do than to create a holiday to remind people that we shouldn't be concerned that we're losing billions of dollars and thousands of American lives in a quagmire of our President's own creation! It's genius, really! This holiday was apparently brought to us by the same decent folks who gave us the ubiquitous Magnetic Yellow Ribbon Bumper Decal that has become the modern display of our nation's shared sacrifice during a time of war. Fuck you Rosie the Riveter! I'm dropping $3.50 and I'm done!

How befitting that a day called Loyalty Day was brought to us by an administration that has been anything BUT loyal to the very troops they call on the rest of us to support, given that most of our soldiers live on or below the poverty line and come home from war to substandard medical care, while they are sent to sacrifice themselves in a fiasco that has no clear focus, no definitive ending, and certainly no indication of imminent victory. Furthering the irony is that we are asked to observe a holiday where we remember those great men who emphasized our inherent freedoms -- freedoms we're losing with every passing day in this administration of fear and intimidation -- in a country those same founding fathers would have shuddered to see if they were alive today.

If you ask me, this holiday should have been called "Can Y'All Please Set Aside One Day Where We Don't Roast Dubya For Fucking Up Our Country, Because It Hurts His Feelings Day." I also like the idea of calling it "Gee, If Only We Had a Real Leader Day," or given its decidedly dystopian sounding designation, we could simply refer to it as "Orwell Day." I think that has a nice ring to it.

Yeah, I think that today was a perfectly befitting time for a celebration of Irony Day.

Who wants a cupcake?

9 comments:

  1. Hey Allie, don't knock The Commander Guy, he loves you. As do I for this blog. <3

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  2. America Hater!! I hope that the Ministry of Homeland Security hunts you down and sends you to Gitmo!!

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  3. "Can Y'All Please Set Aside One Day Where We Don't Roast Dubya For Fucking Up Our Country, Because It Hurts His Feelings Day."

    Omg I am tearing up from laughing so hard Gouda... Thanks for another great post - though I wish we lived in a country where it wasn't even necessary.

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  4. How about "National Rape You Up the Ass With a Gas Nozzle Day?"

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  5. Mmm, cupcakes. That's the best part about so many instances of Irony Day.

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  6. ***snerk***

    Can we also have a "Burn Rush Limbaugh At The Stake" day?

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  7. Jessica -- I think that right there would be the greatest demonstration of real loyalty one could make on such a day. lol

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