10.27.2006

Meet Huggy Bear...

Huggy Bear is a friend of Natalie's Kindergarden class. Huggy Bear goes home with a special child every week to become a temporary member of the family. Huggy Bear is a rather innocuous looking stuffed beast, and my first impression was mainly one of indifference. It's a bear. Big whoop. Nat would probably put one of her frilly dresses on it, feed it some crackers, and he'd have an uneventful week in our house where competition among other stuffed animals is stiff.

Little did I know was that this bear liked to party. In fact, the Huggy Bear I met in my daughter's loving embrace and the one I encountered when she was away at school could not have been more different. I should have been clued in by his name alone. The name "Huggy Bear" just reeks of pimp. I followed this little bastard around the house to track his activities, and I was shocked.

Don't say I didn't warn you...



Now Huggy Bear, the honey is in the pantry!






Dammit, not my Bud Light! Drink the Miller! The Miller!!







No, you can get yourself to the toilet, Huggy Bear!






Not the Boobah, Huggy Bear! Not the Boobah!! It's an alien! It's orifices are lined with spikes!!







*Gasp* Looking away now...







Huggy Bear... You are a whore, but you still da man. You still da man.**






**The author of this post is going to burn in hell.




26 comments:

  1. Ahhh Look at Dora she just grins and bears it...I see that Ann is double jointed, boy that makes me hot.

    Animal Planet Presents: "Huggy Bear...International Sexcapades, Today's Stop ANNDORA"

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  2. I hope that you and Huggy Bear keep this secret from dear Natalie. She would be scarred for life.

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  3. Wow! I'm getting that one on my Tivo, STAT, Matt-Man!! LOL

    Aisby- Natalie will neither know of Huggy Bear's escapades nor the scope of her mother's psychosis... ;) That latter is for all of you to enjoy. LOL

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  4. One day she will come to know your psychosis and she and her therapist will enjoy hours of blaming you for her horrible plight

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  5. Oh I had an awesome time last night. As soon as I get pics from last night and tonight, I will post them! :)

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  6. By the way...how are you feeling today, and will the party continue this evening?

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  7. Awesome! Totally awesome!

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  8. that was from me! CSMC! :)

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  9. Ann looks worn out, but Dora is still rarin' to go! "Vamonos, Huggy Bear! I've got some really good shit in my backpack!"

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  10. Huggy Bear is da bomb. Nice work.

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  11. I can't watch boo bah. Those aliens look like small johnsons with turtle necks and fuzzy sacs..and on the show they use fart speak to communicate.

    On the other hand...Huggy bear is the man. I wish I could be more like him.

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  12. I must say, Dora looks mighty happy. But Raggedy Anne looks, well, worn out.

    I swear I see that bear smiling.

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  13. Anyone who has ever watched Starsky & Beyotch half a lifetime ago knows who Huggy is (played by Antonio Fargas). The real question is what school district employee decided to play this joke?

    The other odd coincidence? Huggy Bear is also the name of a British Riot Grrrl band. Guess a LARGE part of the Riot Grrrl movement came from?

    Wait for it!


    OLYMPIA, WASHINGTON!!!

    Coincidence? I think not! What better way to mix messages of rockin' feminist womanizing for our young ones!


    By the way, Firefox 2.0 is sweet. It caught all my accidental misspellings, so you won't have to!

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  14. Good lord, woman. WHAT are you doing?

    John and I are dying over here...

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  15. Roll-on-the-floor-bang-my-head-against-the-wall-laughing!

    Ian

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  16. I'm glad you've all enjoyed the exploits of Huggy Bear. My hope is that we will get him back again sometime this year, because I know his conquests are not yet done...

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  17. I was cracking up as I tried to tell my husband about this.

    Dora looks incredibly happy. Raggedy Ann looks worn out. But I swear I can see that bear smiling.

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  18. Allie, you are a clever mess!!

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  19. I love this bear! I got one from my boyfriend! I put a picture of it in my new blog logo! :-)

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  20. GAWD DAMN!!!! THAT'S A HOT THREESOME!!!

    That lucky ass bear... ;)

    Steve~

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  21. We have a bear that looks almost like that. Some of it wiring is not right, so we found out about a year into its ownership that it recites the Lords Prayer. Freaked us out one night when it happened out of the blue (in my previous, haunted, house). It has only done it once since. Watch out for Huggy Bear...

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  22. That was choking-on-lime-coke-up-thu-the-nose hysterical! How did I miss this last year?!? Genius, pure genius Ms Allie!

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